TNA: Top Reality Stars of All-Time
a reality tv lover’s ranking of the best and brightest to ever grace our screens
the work is mysterious and important
I have been watching reality television for over 20 years and these are the stars that have made a lasting imprint on my soul. My metric for these selections: infinitely watchable, kind of terrible, and funny as hell.
I also stuck to people I didn’t know until their reality TV debut. For example, Tyra Banks was a heavyweight champ of her contribution to television in the early aughts but I knew of her as a supermodel first, therefore disqualifying her from this list. Someone like Maya Jama was a well-known British VJ but first entered my orbit as the host of Love Island UK. That could technically make her eligible but her main function is being DDG [drop dead gorgeous] and being hot isn’t enough to cut it for this list. With no extended documentation of her life or interaction with people beyond the islanders, I can’t in good faith categorize her as a reality TV star. You see? Keith Brymer Jones changed my life as one of the judges of The Great Pottery Throw Down [I must catch up on the past couple seasons!!!] but again, being a jazzy judge and/or host is not the point of this exercise!
I was actually going to do this in no particular order but my girlfriend informed me that is part of the fun of reading lists. All reality TV magic makers are not created equal. I know my faves but initially didn’t have it in me to rank them. Everyone can thank her for pushing me to put even more effort into this already incredibly thoughtful list. *clears throat*
There were thousands to choose from but here are the exceptional twenty-five who made the cut. Without further ado *drumroll* in ascending order of personal cultural impact..
The Official Nay Agenda Ranking of Top Reality Stars of All-Time:
twenty-five
Paul & Karine, 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days - This was my first introduction to the 90 Day franchise. We watched this show as a family when Vovó was still alive. My cousin Bonita’s living room was best known as the prime viewing location for Dateline marathons but the summer of 2017, it was where we were doubled over with belly laughter at Paul and his full-coverage pants for his trip through the Amazon to visit Karine. To watch this disastrous love [?] story unfold in real time..I can’t even express the joy it brought us. They were SUCH a mess. The other couples were equally shocking to witness. Anytime you are feeling questionable about your life, throw on a TLC show of your choice and you’ll be cured.
twenty-four
Eugene Harris, Married to Medicine - Toya’s husband. The best husband on reality TV. Bless him. His patience. His service. He is a successful doctor yet his wife’s exorbitant spending habits leave them in precarious financial situations year after year. If you enjoy Bravo programming and have not tuned into M2M, seek medical attention and fix it.
twenty-three
Jackie Christie, Basketball Wives - The queen who slammed her hands on a table while a group of women was trying to apologize to her in earnest and said “let’s just fight.” She is one of one. If for nothing but her hat collection. Her quasi-annual vow renewal to her husband of almost 30 years is also really special.
twenty-two
Audrina Patridge, The Hills - She invented ultra low-rise jeans. She had the most prominent-yet-confusing neck tattoo. Her blank stares and dealings with Justin Bobby informed a lot of confusing choices I made with embarrassing and emotionally unavailable men for years to come.
twenty-one
Amanda Batula, Summer House - She is my only submission from that cast. You may be confused. Outraged, even! But hear me out. She is the Audrina Patridge of our time. She is hot, kind of boring, but relatable. She is an essential worker. We need her as a foil, as a voice of reason, as someone to root for *cough* DIVORCE HIM *cough*
twenty
Hazel-E, Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood - Never has someone ever made more of a splash in the cosmetic procedure department. I waited with bated breath to see what shocking new tweak she’d reveal from the off-season. Her saying “pop my butt, pop pop my butt” [lyrics from her own song] to a portrait of Harriet Tubman while Iyanla shouted at her changed my life.
nineteen
Alex McCord, The Real Housewives of New York City - Her husband’s red leather pants, for one. I also think of her saying “You are a mean girl and you are in high school. And while you are in high school, I am in Brooklyn trying to survive this economy.” almost daily. Just as powerful in 2010 as it is today. Even more so! I am in fact in Brooklyn and trying to survive this economy!
eighteen
Kim Richards, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - She has given us so much. Told us exactly who Kyle was from DAY DOT..stealing her gd house and all that..allegedly, of course. Many of you are not ready for that conversation. But you want to talk about c*nt [complimentary]? Her at that canonical Amsterdam dinner telling Lisa Rinna to have a piece of bread and calm down. Chef’s kiss. Chef’s wedding vows. Standing ovation.
seventeen
Trisha Paytas, The Internet at Large, but mainly Youtube - I was first introduced to Trish when my younger, cooler sister, showed me the phenomenon of mukbangs in the mid aughts. From feasting on the best of Panda Express and Pizza Hut on her living room floor to dressing up as and singing every part of Hamilton in her kitchen during the pandemic, she is a national treasure. She’s one of those people I see on my timeline and smile to myself thinking “sometimes we make the right people famous.” Now I know she is not technically a reality star by *checks notes* any standard but this is my list. My rules. At least half the country was cool with dict*torship so you should be cool with this!
sixteen
Entire Cast, Real Girlfriends in Paris - *RuPaul Voice* BRING BACK MY GIRLS! A one-season wonder of all wonders. I loved settling into the chaos of these chicas. I just re-followed my faves: Margaux, GoGo! she’s married! Anya is a mother! What a difference a couple years can make. I’m so happy for them.
fifteen
Entire Cast, Jerseylicious - I don’t remember any of their names but I do remember their looks and how incredible their accents sounded when fighting.
fourteen
Entire Cast, Jersey Shore - To be an adult man named Michael Sorrentino and refer to yourself as The Situation? That is high art. To beat up the beat on the dance floor? To go hunting for juiceheads on the boardwalk? To say “Sam the first night at bed when you left Ron made out with 2 girls and put his head in between a cocktail waitresses breasts, also was grinding with multiple fat women. When you left crying at Klutch, Ron was holding hands and dancing with a female and took down her number. Multiple people in the house know, therefore you should know the truth?” Give them each a Medal of Freedom.
thirteen
Carole Radziwill, The Real Housewives of New York City - She brought a certain cache to the franchise. A JOURNALIST?! I never watched SATC but to me, she was the closest thing we had to Carrie Bradshaw in the Bravo-verse. Someone with taste. For once! Her wildly impractical stairs. Her storing items in her oven and kitchen cabinets. I supported her calling Andy on his BS during her final reunion and was obviously on her side during the feud with the big bad B.
twelve
Tyrique Hyde, Love Island UK - Slow clap for this man. He is the exact type of guy I used to date. Fine as hell. Whispers of early-aughts style. Charming. Manipulative. For the streets. Watching him and Ella spiral on and off camera during their season was triggering and kind of healing? I love him STILL. He’s been rapping and being hilarious online. Do you remember where you were when he and Whitney performed “Bad Bitch” at the Love Island talent show? Nations fell to their knees.
eleven
Serena Page and Kordell Beckham, Love Island USA - This season of television changed the chemistry of my brain. Every throwaway line out of Serena’s mouth was instantly quotable. “I support women’s rights, and wrongs.” A Home Goods pillow isn’t enough, stitch that on the American flag!!! Kordell specifically saying he wants to do Cheez-It sponsorships and landing a campaign is the American dream as far as I’m concerned. Their telenovela fight on the dock that night..I have rewatched it more times than any of my favorite music videos or movies. WGA can hang it up. No one will ever write a more compelling scene.
ten
Ramona Singer, The Real Housewives of New York City - Yes. I have the ordacity to put her on my list despite her countless nights of partying at Mar-A-Lago. Rotten to her red delicious core. She is my problematic fave. WOW BETHENNY WOW.
nine
Yolanda Hadid, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Her lemon trees. Her clear refrigerator. Her monochromatic looks. Her hooked up to IVs in a hospital bed telling her hungry model daughter who called her distraught from a photoshoot to eat a single almond and chew it really well. Her music video for David Foster. My team. My dream team.
eight
Sonja “Sexy J” Morgan, The Real Housewives of New York City - Sonjarita! The Conductor of The Hot Mess Express. I would watch her watch paint dry. There is more charisma in her left pinky toe than most of the people you’re claiming would be iconic on the next season of The White Lotus. PLEASE. You want to talk about a thoroughbred? Someone put on this earth to entertain? While I did not purchase anything from her flash in the pan clothing line at Century 21, I would buy her toaster oven..if she were to ever produce one. I want European nobility and a soft yacht life for her in perpetuity. YOU DON’T TOUCH THE F*CKING MORGAN LETTERS!
seven
Lisa “Baby Gorgeous” Barlow, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - A friendship almost ended over my inability to stop singing her rendition of “Away in a Manger” the weekend that episode came out. Impeccable taste in clothes and food. Whatever Wendy’s is paying her, they should double it. This is the only kind of influencing that sits right with my spirit.
six
Kenya Moore, The Real Housewives of Atlanta - KENYA MOORE HAIR CARE. She is simply gone with the wind fabulous! I will never miss an opportunity to bring up her perfect live performance of it on Watch What Happens Live and Andy twirling behind the bar. I’m sorry but this sparks unbridled joy. If you have taste and are watching the latest season of RHOA..#justiceforkenya
five
Mary M. Cosby, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - She is deeply unsettling. She is a dark comedic genius. She is incredibly rich. She is an odd bird in a gilded cage that I want to protect but also catch a glimpse of! We should be so lucky to have someone like her on our screens! Begging any of these self-serious and self-produced nouveau reality stars to take notes!!!
four
Joseline Hernandez, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta - The Puerto Rican Princess first came into my life in 2012. She walked so Cardi B could run. Yeahhh, I said it! Her calling the mother of her slimy boyfriend’s child a maid, simply for wearing a full-coverage t-shirt..LOL. You have to laugh. Her ascension to Princess of Zeus Network? I could never have predicted. I was [graciously] gifted a 3-month subscription to it for my 30th birthday just so I could watch Joseline’s Cabaret. The intro song-turned-smash-hit-single was so important to me that summer of 2020.
three
Evelyn Lozada, Basketball Wives - The original baddie. Telling Tami Roman that she dated and slept with her ex husband while they were married and calling her a motherfing non-factor then making merch of it? Reality TV gold. To have them both on our screens at the same time..what a time to be alive! I honestly cannot believe how much story she gave. Ochocinco ALLEGEDLY head-butting her? What a moment. Her ability to pull people to the depths of the gutter while looking absolutely snatched and stunning, is unparalleled. She’s kind of the JLo of reality TV to me. Maybe even a little Dolo Catania. I’m trying to land this plane. Imagine if Ciara Miller was from New York and had more of a personality and could fight? It’s kind of like that!!!
two
Tiffany “New York” Pollard, I Love New York and Flavor of Love - When I think of the best that reality television has to offer, I think of this visionary. She was a titan of her time. I lived to watch her find love. I questioned the meaning of “break a leg” when she crashed out at someone for saying it to her before an audition.
Often imitated, NEVER duplicated. The deep satisfaction of a witnessing such deliciously poetic dragging on the spot! If someone said “Somebody lied to her several times and told her that she was fly, hot and sexy and beautiful and she’s nothing like that. She’s nothing of the sort.” about me, I would go into hiding. I love her. I honor her. I have the utmost respect for her.
one
Linnethia “Nene” Leakes, The Real Housewives of Atlanta - “So nasty, and so rude.” Nene put Real Housewives on the map. Period point blank. There is no one more quotable. More meme-able. More effortlessly shady than her. She taught me that white refrigerators are ghetto. I’ve since had a white refrigerator or two and always took anything else as a sign of improved financial status and/or luck. If you are reading this and have a white refrigerator yourself, all I can say is that I hope you are able to find the same charm and character-building opportunities in your circumstance as I do surviving without an in-unit washer/dryer. Tomato, tomahto.
From feuding with Kim “WIG” Zolciack to her guest starring on Glee, she is one of the forever greats in Housewife History. She got too big for her britches [as many do once they reach commercial success *cough* Slinger of Skinnygirl *cough*] and ended up going scorched earth with Andy and the network in recent years but I’ll always remember her fondly as an MVP during the golden era of RHOA. Many have been clamoring for her return to our screens but I prefer to think of during her prime. You can’t recreate that kind of magic. I *hand over heart* pledge allegiance to one of Georgia’s juiciest peaches.
WOOH. If you made it this far, you’re a real one. Hope you enjoyed this unsolicited love letter to the people who are largely responsible for making me who I am today.
Peace and blessings!
Xxo,
Sha Nay Nay
Waitttt Jackie Christie deserves a higher rank😤😤😤😤