WE CAME HERE FOR LOVE!
the islanders reunite. the RHOSLC trailer drops. azealia banks endorses chappell roan. and other hard-hitting news.
*kordell twirl*
If you didn’t evoke an image of Kordell Beckham spinning with his suitcase..I’m actually honored to know you because that leads me to believe you are a serious person. Not me! I think of it often. I live for it. I am SO proud of him and his Cheez-It brand deal. He also has one with Pattern Beauty [my hair care of choice]!!! Serena snagged a partnership with Cécred. THIS is power couple. THIS is Black excellence. I love living in a world where Beyoncé knows who my beloved Islanders are.
Yes, the Love Island USA reunion aired last night. Have I been insatiably devouring every single morsel of content from my favs since they left the villa? Yes. Did I think that somehow there would be new information and something juicy to hang my hat on? Not really. I don’t know what I expected. I have notes for next year if anyone at NBCUniversal cares to reach out. I also documented my real time, pared down thoughts.
The Official Nay Agenda Love Island USA s6 Reunion Experience:
-Very clunky Coffee mate creamer product placement. My favorite chemical sweet milk variety. I used to really get down with the French Vanilla. Anyway..them zooming in on it in an espresso cup? Electric chair. It set the tone. This is going to be a very unserious 1h 20m.
-Coye is suchhh a loser. He also put too much product in his beard. Very low-budget Tyler Perry villain.
-Kenny needs a stylist. You can be a business casual hottie and not look like you’re wearing an ill-fitting cardboard blazer. This is actually unacceptable. Please note, my love for Kenny moved me to download the Love Island USA app and vote for him and JaNa. I want better for him. If he wanted to match JaNa’s Vegas freak *Tinashe voice* I think a Versace or Casablanca shirt would have been perfect.
-Nicole. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole. You know it’s bad if you have me wanting to defend Kendall. What am I actually watching? This exchange re: the revenge corn video made me so uncomfortable and could have used more mediation from Ari. I have nothing nice to say about the two of them for different reasons so I just won’t say anything [else] at all..
-Andrea is a weirdo. Full stop.
-Rob is unfortunately very hot, very normal, and best dressed.
-THE PIZZA HUT PROMO. It is so funny. It is so ridiculous. It looked cold. Also, to have Ari do her Broadway best in the heart of Times Square for the intro and not tap a local pizza spot. Scarr’s? Prince Street? Joe’s? Joe’s would have been perfect! If we needed something nationwide, please do not disrespect us by trying to pretend they wouldn’t have sprung for Domino’s.
-Anti-cyberbullying PSA is very after school special.
-I never need to hear from Kaylor or Aaron again.
-THE UNEDITED FIRE PIT SCENE. Riveting. This is what I like to see. I could have watched 3+ hours of just extended, unedited footage. To spend half the reunion relitigating the dumping of Andrea from the island was..a choice. I didn’t need it but it was fascinating to see a peek behind the curtain.
-With love and heart hands, I don’t know that Ariana was the best choice to host. Snatch our wigs and give us Maya Jama. Even that hottie from Aftersun would have been great.
Here’s the thing, I am spoiled by Bravo reunions of Housewives, Summer House, Married to Medicine, etc. Even those are rarely satisfying these days because of how much plays out on social media and during press tours. The odd thing here is there is no premise of a pre-existing friendship with this group so as much as more holding bad actors to account for their behavior would have been fun to see, there is no need for resolution. This group of people won’t be filming another season together so what is the point? We could have had the final four couples + Aaron, Kaylor, Rob, Liv, and called it a day.
The episodes throughout the season were edited with a much quicker turnaround and of award-winning caliber. This? No scoring. No story. No through-line. No flow. That said, I’d choose them, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find them and choose them.
the donkey convention
Bless everyone in my life who was trying to discuss the DNC opening speeches with me last night. The bravery it took for me to reply to various group chats, WhatsApps, “Oh! I haven’t seen! Just finished watching the Love Island reunion.” In one of my most politically active chats I simply asked “Am I a bimbo?” I didn’t get a no, so..
After watching Coach Kerr’s speech and clips from many others, I had A. tears of joy, pride..dare I say p*triotism? B. thought what a stark contrast with Hulk Hogan screaming and ripping his shirt at a podium. I mean. Please bffr.
Now Miss Rodham, you should be fined and possibly serve time for playing “Fight Song.” I flinched when I heard that start to play. It really should be banned. Unforgivable, millennial pink, pussyhat, girl boss behavior. The only redeeming factor would have been if instead ending with “LET’S GO WOMEN!” she shouted “LET’S GO LESBIANS!”
Desus Nice said Kathy Hochul has the aura of mashed potatoes. He is so real for that.
more magic
Okay, I’m hitting you with some things I cannot stop thinking about.
ZYN awareness. It has reached some people in my life and between this and Celsius drinks I am concerned we are entering a Four Loko era. Recession pop is making its rounds on TikTok. I know we seem to be back again, but can my brothers and sisters in vice please find something else? Something a little less, your-heart-may-stop and-never-restart? This is my back to school special PSA and plea.
RHOSLC!!! My Salt Lake City hunnies are BACK. Finally. Bravo..you’ve been really questionable lately and this is the return to form I needed. RHOC? Sure. it’s delivering as much as a group of women who hate each other in Orange County can. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City? They’re operating at a higher level. Their vibrations are cosmic. The trailer shifted something in me. I could finally relate to “girl who is going to be okay.”
What else? Oh! Martha Stewart posting Mom’s Spaghetti hoodies? I guess promoting Eminem’s red sauce brand that no one knew he had? She is so funny to me. Speaking of Eminem, I did own Encore and play it often.
Azealia Banks endorsing Chappell Roan is really special. I love it. Not that she needed it, but I really live for the pile on of goodwill and ascension of Miss Roan’s career.
Pretty Little Liars. I miss it. I have seen every spinoff, the new version, everything. I wish I could unlock the feeling of watching it for the first time. That intro? If Spotify Wrapped existed in 2010, “Secret” would have been my most played.
Remi performing “Toro” live. So. Good. Sparks. Joy!!!
Alright, I could go on but I shall leave you with that. Last week I taught my mother click the hyperlinks throughout my posts for more context. Totally new experience for her. It was a pretty powerful intergenerational moment. Felt right to share, hope that’s okay.
It is a champion of The Nay Agenda’s birthday today. Happy Birthday Kitty!!! My Leo sister. One of my nearest and dearest. Possibly would be on a short list of people I would call if I were on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and needed to phone a friend! Is that show still on? Anyway, HBD queen.
Speaking of birthdays, yes, I am going to make it about me—I am Leo sun—mine is on Thursday. All I want besides love and affection and a job, [can you believe? people say they don’t dream of labor, but guess what? I do!!!] is more subscribers. Gimme, gimme MORE. If you’re reading these sweet nothings and are not subscribed, first, how dare you? Second, go ahead and slap that email in the little box or whatever and get involved! That’s my one wish to you! I’ll be an older, wiser woman the next time I hit your inbox.
Beijos. Besos. Bisous.
Nay Nay