I LOVE MESS!
you're knee deep in the passenger seat and i'm knee deep in nicolandria theories.
early days
One the final day of Pride Month, I wanted to talk to you about one of the straightest shows on television, Love Island USA.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. When the sunshine is glowing, the bombshells they’re throwing and soul ties are near! It’s the mosttt wonderful time of the year!
If you have the willpower to resist the neon bikini-clad, lip filler, exposed tracks, avocado toast, pixie dust pull of Love Island then *slow clap* and *hats off* to you. For a brief overview of my Love Island journey and why it is the the most important anthropological experiment of our generation, please refer to some required reading from my reality tv soliloquies last summer, “I MEAN THIS WITH ZERO HYPERBOLE..LOVE ISLAND USA IS THE BEST THING THIS COUNTRY HAS GOING ON RIGHT NOW!” here and “WE CAME HERE FOR LOVE” here. You’re welcome.
*SPOILERS AHEAD* If you’re behind and don’t want to know the latest and greatest happenings in Fiji..skip ahead.
For the real ones, hey hey.
My brilliant cousin Jaspar had the best observation within the first 10 episodes of the season. Here is a direct quote from the 01:41 voicenote that I saved and circulated to my other Love Island-exclusive chat: “The thing I’m upset about is that the people who could potentially be a little bit smarter are conflict-averse and the people who are okay with conflict are dumb.” Brava. This unfortunately holds up.
I need to share some other thoughts that have been burning a hole in my legal pad. These are in order of viewing experience:
-Whoever is in charge of the music should get an award.
-The blindfold challenge??????!
-What an anthropological feat.
-Charlie saying “don’t forget me” babe, we’ve already moved on!
-Huda has been overbearing and unsettling and unwell from the beginning. She needs to learn how to regulate her emotions!! How is she a mother??!
-I have HAD IT with Ace and his “urgent” morning dates. Like if you really care for Chelley, maybe you’d let her sleep in for once? Not doing ping pong and pancakes in the heat for a bite of likely undercooked pancakes? OOOH he irks me. Those solid oversized backwards fitteds on his his head make him look like a lego. I do not like the energy he’s bringing with Amaya.
-Meg Theeeeeeeee Stallion!
-The boys sending Jeremiah home is peak hater behavior. Ace is enemy #1. Napoleon complex. I am sick to my stomach that Austin is still in that villa!!!
-I am obsessed with how tall all these Casa boys are.
-Crying. I wanted Olandria to get a bombshell but she’ll find a man on the outside.
-I really cannot stand Ace.
-Nic?!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO. This is what the boys get for dumping Jeremiah instead of Austin.
-Austin’s voice irritates me to the point that I’ve started fast-forwarding through all of his one-on-one conversations.
-An uncooked linguine noodle has more sex appeal than Taylor. His mumbling and third grade kisses have been in that villa far too long for my liking. The way he arched his back and ran up to Nic to hug him that morning during Casa Amor BEFORE greeting Olandria? Oh baby..count your days.
escape goat
I need a moment of silence for the most perfect episode of television that I have ever seen. This is of course e21 of Love Island USA. Nothing could have prepared me for the beaming joy in my heart I felt watching Nic’s face light up while he showered Olandria with all of the affection and compliments and adoration she deserves!!! I shed several tears! squealed! I got the zoomies! A MAN! For ONCE! Their chemistry is irrefutable. I don’t know how the stars aligned for the Soul Ties scene of the century but I’ll cherish it always.
The Nicolandria hive continues to rise. Day in and day out. We believe that our star-crossed lovers will find their way back to each other. Some of the most beautiful minds are on the beat. I have the faith of a mustard seed that we will prevail.
I hate to even sprinkle an ounce of negativity here but I’d like to take this opportunity to drag Taylor’s raggedy ass for a minute. Taylor looks like a bench-warming stud on a women’s college basketball team. Derogatory. I am so sick of him and his disrespect towards the goddess that is Olandria. He shows more enthusiasm with the guys than he ever did with O by his side. He had the unmitigated gaul to complain about how “the physical attraction just isn’t there” with her..time and time again behind her back. He claimed to be a “slow burner” to her face then instantly switched it up for a lighter-skinned woman in Casa. He can’t make a single move without running it by Ace.
And by the way I do believe the subreddits saying that Ace and Chelley were dating before entering the villa and are scheming to win the money. AHT AHT AHT! Not on my watch! Sorry Chelley. For starters, you proudly identify as bisexual and choose to go on this show? To have been with women and go on THIS SHOW?!!..it would HAVE to be for the money. You’re a baddie but I’m not buying what you’re selling. Ace is a hater. Ace has shitty tattoos. Ace thinks he’s the boss of the villa. Ace is frankly too short to behave the way he does. There, I said it! Ace is on the wrong show. He needs to be on Survivor or The Traitors, not wasting my time on Love Island. At least even the disingenuous islanders *cough* Huda *cough* put on a show.
Okay, back to the task at hand: Operation Nicolandria. The fan cam edits found me after that random beaver-secret cabin challenge. I didn’t doubt it for a second. Immediately yes. Inject it into my veins. I like Cierra. She’s a beauty. Great chat. Good personality and style..but she can be a real ally and find a way to couple up with Chelley if she wants to be saved. I need Move Night to happen so everyone can open their eyes to the greatest love story of all-time!
My team. My dream team. If there are any Brooklyn-based brujas or healers who want to manifest Nic and Olandria re-coupling for the second half of this season, please get in touch. I’ll be running up my corner of the internet with the thought leaders and true believers in this endgame level connection.
Side note: Zak and Amaya are hilarious to me. Amaya Papaya’s “I never said I was perfect.I never said I didn’t have any flaws..” is the new “Waking up in the mornin, thinking about so many things..” We all know Zak is homies with Miguel from s6, right? I thought he was going to bring that rizz but no such luck. I can barely understand what either of them are ever saying to each other yet find myself cheesing from ear to ear the entire time. He’ll do for now! I’d be happy to see her win and keep the money for herself at this point!!!
queer ultimatum
If you think I’ve hit my quota of trash tv with my full-time job as a Love Island fan, you’d be mistaken. Queer Ultimatum s2 is out and my beautiful perfect angel girlfriendTM and I devoured the first seven episodes last week. We are waiting with bated breath for the finale and reunion to drop. This season has more compelling couple dynamics and people I’d like to see thrive on their own. That’s a step up from last season which only had two people worth rooting for [in my humble opinion], Mal and Xander.
I have to say..keeping that random straight Hallmark movie actress as the host was bold. I respect it. I’m thoroughly entertained and encourage everyone who hasn’t yet watched to get involved. Warning: it is the embodiment of “may this love never find me.” Truly the most toxic and incompatible people you’ll ever see but really fascinating to watch. As I said, I LOVE MESS!
What else? Well, there’s a lot else but I’m still buzzing from the hours of Nicolandria edits I’ve watched on TikTok and want to get back to that. I love community.
As always, love and light!
PS: My sister and I started a podcast! We’re releasing biweekly until we get in the groove of things but I watch, listen, and subscribe: HERE if you dare! Merci <3
Xx,
Nay Nay
yes. yes. and YES.